She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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