Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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