If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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