Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
