...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
