that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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