is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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