tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize