Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
