Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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