Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
this just has baby written all over it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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