Cold hands, warm shart.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
