I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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