Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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