Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize