I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
