He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
