went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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