I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
