WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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