is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
