Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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