Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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