Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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