I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize
