The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
