dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
