Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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