If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
