Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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