Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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