If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
