I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
sarcasm needs its own font
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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