You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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