I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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