Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You made out with two different species that night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
