Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
