rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize