it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
