Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
