Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
