they need to just BURY HIM!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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