Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
