I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
