No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
