i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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