He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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