I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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