I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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