If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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