# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.