that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.