Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
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I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
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My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship