Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
