i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
