For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
