You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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