just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
