I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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