Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
