If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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