Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
