So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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